Just a little vent

While posting on someone's blog I encounter a comment tht I am pretty sure was intented for me. Basically it was a comment about how people who do not check posts for typos and then edit and rewrite do not care about what they write. This really bothered me. IT bothered me becausd I know that my posts alwas have typos and always have misspellings. Do I care about my posts? Most definatly. Am I a bad speller? YEs! Why then do I not go back and reread and edit. Well it is quite simple. I can't. I have a blind eye. I can only see out of my right eye. My left is useless. Since I only have one eye to use it gets very tired doing the work of two eyes. I am very prone to mistakes in typing because my eye can not keep up with my fingers, where a normal seeing person uses 2 eyes to read with I only use one, which means that I read at half the pace. I also tend to reverse spellings of words, and sometimes totally mess things up but I usually do not notice this as I type. If I had to constantly go back and re read every thing then I would never get anything done. I get bad headaches after a short time typing and reading. I am so sorry that this is coming out as self pity, I am just so frustrated at the comment, when it was so untrue... I do care about what I write....it isn't my fault that my typing is terrible.....I hope that this gets passed on to the one who made the comment, I know one of my readers will know who I am referring to.

Odds and ends

It has been so long since my last post, I have many things to say, but not much time so I will try to be brief, and informative.
Things with hubby are much better, still have a way to go to have the relationship that I want and need, but we are heading in the right direction. I still wish that we could communicate more effectively. I feel like I can't talk to him without saying the wrong thing or without bothering him, sometimes it seems like he just wants me to leave him alone all the time unless it is for intimate reasons, but we are working on it and have made progress. On a positive note, we have been making big improvements on our meatloaf recipies, and are working on having meatloaf as much as we can............
Sarah is doing really well, she amazes us everyday with her cleverness, and how darn cute she can be! She loves preschool and is doing really well. She continues to do well at dance, and gymnastics, and now wants iceskating lessons......I think we can wait on those. Santa is going to be really good to her....a little to good if you ask me......we will need a bigger house soon just for her stuff. Recently we have stopped sending her to daycare because of some concerns we had with her care, so now hubby has taken on a lot of the responsibilty of her care while I am at work, so far it is going well and Sarah is a lot happier, and I am a lot less stressed.
After waiting one month, as directed by my gyn/ob we have now started trying for another baby, keep your fingers crossed for this month, I am very nervous since I have now had 2 misscarriages in a row, I am so afraid to concieve because I am certain that it will end like the others, I really want another baby, but my body seems to disagree, so please send your prayers to us......
Thanks for reading! I promise to keep up to date on my blog........as much as I can!

Some days.......

After a day from hell at work......7 hrs with no break, running 3 b-day parties without help, and feeling like crap, only to come home to a grumpy husband, a crazy kid, and tons of house work that I have neglected all week, mostly because of work and a sick kid. Then grumpy husband leaves in a huff, and I have to take the coughing kid out to get water for her humidifier before the store closes. It is just one of thsoe days.

meatloaf and other stuff

I was recently reading a blog of one of my dh's friends, and I found it very refreshing to know that there are other wives/mothers out there who have some of the same issues that I do. So if that person happens across my blog, I would like to say thank you for the meatloaf post, and remember you are not alone! I too am in the search for the perfect meatloaf....to share with my dh of course! Right now though I have other fish to fry.....the little one has bronchitis and is being very grumpy she is highly demanding right now and it is hard to deal with, but poor dh has had her all day and now it is my turn.....so back to grumpy for me!

My newest obsession

This time I found the greatest obsession! Freecycle....I have already gotten rid of, a toy box filled with stuff, an old shelf we had no use for, an elmo potty, and a booster chair. And tomorrow someone is coming to pick up and old stroller I have......at this rate we will be decluttered in a week! I love freecycle!

Why I hate my husbands hobby

It is not that I actually hate his hobby, just that I hate how it affects me.......now my husband thinks I am selfish for my feelings but Ireally am not......here are some of the reasons I hate when he goes to his "club:

1) After working all day and not seeing him, he leaves and is gone untill 11pm or later......Sarah and I both miss him, and Sarah becomes quiete miserable at bed time.

2) if a problem comes up(and lately they always seem to) he is to far away to do anything, and he yells at me for calling him to try and get some help.

3) In order to get to his club he has to take my car, since his is a bomb, and that leaves me carless and dependant on other people.

4) I feel like I can't call to say hello, or just to get reassurance after a tough night, since I have been told that I am a nuisance, and that I do not give him any peace....so missing my husband is not an option apparently.

5) no matter how many times I confront him he spends way too much money on his models and other stuff, and he doesnt' ask me(or discuss it with me) when I spend any money I check with him first...and since money is tight, I think I deserve the same.

6) Sometimes it seems like his hobby and his club are much more a priorty than we are.........I know that isn't true but sometimes it feels like that.......

7) Okay I will admit some of it is jealousy, having giving up my own hobby(marital arts) to have more time at home and to save some money, I feel a little jealous (okay a lot) that he has not made a similar sacrifice.

8) I hate being alone at night.....( this is mostlly not the case tough as I have a friend who is normally here on the nights he goes otu, so this point is not really that valid.

Okay now that I have gotten all that out...and knowing my h usband will be reading it, and most likely take it as a personal attack, which it is nto....I simply needed to vent my feelings and frustrations....knowing full well that it would not change anything, and not expecting it to change anythign....all I am hoping for is some opinions, takig sides is fine...I just need to know if I really am being as unreasonable in my feelings, as my husband says I am.

A little Motivation goes a long way!

It is amazing how a little motivation can get you moving. As some of you may know, Carmen and I have a some issues with orginazation when it comes to our house.....we try to be neat but it just doesn't happen. Well I have been really depressed lately about our house and how bad it looks. We just found out that our good friends will be moving in right down the road from us....which means that we will be having them over all the time for play dates and such.....well now I have a reason to clean! We have really started to get things going....laundry is getting done, toys are being put away........it is great! I hope it keeps up.....it is a great feeling!

Feeling like a bad mom....

No matter how much I swear I will nto yell and threaten Sarah, it seems she always pushes the right buttons. Once again I used yelling and threats to get her to listen....I am so upset.....she wouldn't nap for me, and I need her to nap because we are going to fireworks tonight....so I layed down withher and tried....she tossed and turned and climbed all over me....and refused to sleep. I took away her new toy(a pocket watch) and threaten to throw it away....that didnt' work....she still kept it up...so finally I picked her up and yelled at her, told her to go to sleep now and knock ti off....of course she cried, and of course I got upset and told her I was sorry but she needs to listen. So I put her in her own room, kissed her gave her her watch back, and left.
She is now asleep....but at what cost....I yelled at her made her cry....she probably hates me

nu=323:>287>543>WSNRCG=3233899946727nu0mrj.jpg">
I wanted to share our Fourth of July picture, a rare picture of the whole family.....the all american family LOL. Enjoy.

Happy 4th!

Happy Fourth of July! I hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday weekend. We have been busy, a party at my sister's house on Saturday and a party at my step-mothers on Sunday....Sarah played hard both days....poor kid is exhausted but she had a great time. Tomorrow we take her to fireworks......her first actual fireworks, she has seen them before but from a distance this will be her first upclose expierence!

A parental disagreement.......

We went over to visit some family today and sarah got to play with her boy cousins, she found a toy gun and was playing with it with her cousin's and with in 10 min. she was using it to show her anger and frustration......for example her 2 1/2 year old cousinmade her angry by trying to take her toy so she points the gun at his head and says I shot you! This really bugs me........alot. I do not want her playing with guns at all and if it wasn't for her father telling her she could I would have put a stop to it right then and there, but I didnt' want to go against him infront of her...but she will nto be allowed to play with them from here on in......his philosophy is well if she didnt' have a gun she could hit him with a stick, my word on that is sticks dont' kill.....if she decides to get mad and swing a stick it isnt' leathal........needless to say this is one agrument I plan to win, my daughter is not going to play with guns, I do not liket he behavior and I will nto let it go on!

and Mommy was there too

Here is a pic of me and sarah with Billy Baldwin. I look awful, it was along day, we got caught out in the pouring rain more than once! So pardon the way I look.

Sarah and the celeberty

We went to a bird of prey day at a local farm. It was a big event, many big names were there, Jim Fowler of Nation geographic, Matthew Modine, Billy Baldwin, lots of events going on. We actually managed to get a picture of Sarah with Billy Baldwin, it was neat he actually turned around to talk to us while we were watching the animal show, he turned to tell us that we might want to shield sarah's eyes because the hawk was going toi bite off the mouse's head and he thought she might be scare, he was so nice, then after the show we got his picture, my friend who was with me couldn't work my camera so I had to take the pic!

Happy Day!!!

It is going to be a good day! I am very excited.......we are actually having a date night, that my husband planned all on his own.....he even set up baby sitting.......I am so excited......I wonder where we are going.......this is the first date night in almost 3 years! Now I just have to get thru work and we can get on with the fun!

If she's lucky she will make it to 4!

MY child is currently in her room having some alone time. We were outside riding skooters, with the little girl that I watch on wednesdays. Sarah kept screaming and throwing a fit anytime she wasnt first, or anytime Shana passed her. She was being so rude and so bratty that I had enough. I took the skooter away and told her she was not playing with other children until she learned how to act! She is in her room right now reading books to herself! I cant' believe how terrible she was being....what happened to my sweet little girl. Who is this foot stomping screaming devil child???????? Lets just hope tht the sweet child emerges from her room in a bit....or I may be trading her in!

learning to grin and bear it

some times you just have to learn to stop feeling sorry for yourself and realize that all your problems really dont' mean much on a large scale. I mean hey I should really just be happy, I have a great husband who loves me and does his best to take care of us, and I have a fantastic little girl who is healthy and happy, what else do I really need?????

The New Plan

It is becoming more and more evident that living in NY is just not a good thing. Land of Taxes and high cost of living.....we are getting closer and closer to just moving somewhere else.....we are starting to think about moving south, NC sounds great......and warm! Of course this will not happen for sometime....we are looking at a 3 year plan. But it feels good to have a plan even if it is a far fetched one!

busy busy busy

Sometimes it seems that life consists of nothing but work......all I seem to do is go to work...when I am not at work I am home with Sarah, working, trying to keep up with the house....or trying to keep up with life in general....and there never seems to be enough time to just relax......when will it all end, I just want some time where nothing needs to be done and no one needs my attention!